dominance

Fully Erect?… Nope, Not This Time

I was asked a few questions from collaredmichael, I’m going to split them up into different posts. In this post, I will answer the following.

Being a sub man in a cage, is this something you might like to do? Would you like to be a key holder?

I’ve heard that some Dominant women don’t do chastity because they feel like the male is submitting to the device, not the woman…

I’m not one to tell other women how to do their thing but, yeah, I’m pretty confident they’re doing it wrong.

If you are a Dominant woman and don’t like the idea of chastity, that is well within your rights, just don’t make up lame excuses why you don’t use chastity.

And, guys, be very careful how you approach a woman with the idea of chastity because you might end up turning them into a woman that thinks you are submitting to a piece of metal/plastic.

Personally, I think it is a great tool.

I love that it gives me control of a penis, and therefore the boy. It is also an easy way to feed my sadistic side — teasing a boy so that he strains against the cage, denying the penis pleasure when I get all the pleasure I want… that is some tasty stuff! I like that it reminds the boy that they are mine, even when I’m not physically with them. I would really enjoy having a necklace with a key on it, reminding me of the control I have.

I wouldn’t keep a boy locked up 24/7, though. I like edging and ruining orgasms. I like seeing when a boy gets an erection, especially in humiliating situations. I would also like seeing when they don’t have an erection, especially if I’m feeling particularly sadistic — knowing they are not getting pleasure from what I’m doing. In other words, I like playing with penises that aren’t locked up.

Needless to say, it greatly depends on my mood if I will use chastity or not, but, yes, I do like it.

Dominance, submission, and Me

Miss D asked…

Do you ever feel submissive or have urges to submit anymore?

And collaredmichael asked…

When did you know you were dominant?

For those of you that do not know, I spent three years as a sub to my husband (whom is now my ex). It was a very rocky time in my life. I struggled in the darkest ways, but I also woke up from many years of merely existing and had experiences that made me feel good.

I responded sexually to being a sub, in a way that I never did in a vanilla setting. I don’t respond well, at all, in a vanilla setting. I thought being a sub was my place. In the end, it wasn’t what was best for me. It put me in an unhealthy mindset. Instead of empowering me and giving me a safe place, it brought the result of my trauma to the forefront and kept it there, making it worse. It crippled me.

Being a sub made me see my wounds, being a Domme has helped me heal them. I no longer have to fight the poison my dad passed down to me. I welcome it because its darkness makes me feel twisted and beautiful. (This makes me cry tears of peace.)

No, I do not feel submissive anymore and I have absolutely no desire to try it again. I get all I need and want from being a Domme.

Late 2016, I found out that my ex was interested in Femdom. By that time, I was a mess. I knew I couldn’t trust him enough to submit to him, which just about killed me. Being in control was better than having no D/s, so I stepped up. It was a shock to see how my body responded to topping him. I found myself literally dripping down my legs. *snort* And I thought I wouldn’t like it…

I have learned some pretty incredible lessons along the way and I am thankful for the experiences I’ve had, even the bad.