Sub girl and I had a conversation some time ago about love languages, more specifically, The 5 Love Languages written by Gary Chapman. I speculated what mine would be but never got to the point of researching it, however, a week ago I took the online quiz (found here) and wasn’t all that surprised to read my results.
First being my strongest language…
- Acts of Service
- Quality Time
- Words of Affirmation
- Receiving Gifts
- Physical Touch
Seeing these laid out in order, might prompt you to ask me, “But, Miss, why do you write post like this one, when all you have to do is call upon the number of boys practically (and sometimes literally) begging to do things for you and spend time with you?”
You wouldn’t be the first to ask that same question. In fact, I have had many people question why I don’t use these boys to my benefit. I could have a couple of fur coats, my yard mowed/driveway shoveled, feet massaged, sadistic urges met… you name it, it is only a text away – without a doubt. Aside from not feeling comfortable giving my address to just anyone (a very good reason), I can simply sum it up with, “That’s not what I want.”
But, the thing is, it is what I want. I have a deep desire to have a boy desperate to please me through various acts of service — be it pampering me, doing chores (because I shouldn’t have to), or serving as a toy to please my sadistic side. A boy that will strive to endure every single devious desire I have and want nothing more than to keep pleasing me.
Oh, yes, that is what I want for my girl and I.
Where I get hung up is… I don’t want that from just anyone. I want it to come from someone I love and trust. I want it to come from someone I connect with. I want it to come from someone who truly sees me. Because that is when my brain boners happen and magic happens in my panties.
So, yeah, I fall under the demisexual umbrella.
There are a couple local guys that are fun to be around, but, of course, I have my excuses. They travel too often, they don’t communicate, they don’t this, they don’t that. Truth is, I just don’t want them. I shouldn’t need to make excuses to myself or anyone else.
Digging a little deeper, it scares the shit out of me to open up to someone on that level. Maybe I’m just not ready to try… maybe I’m just waiting for something else…
I’m not saying it’s a bad thing… It does make life more challenging, though.