I’ve been feeling a little out of sorts lately. I can’t pinpoint what is wrong or where it is coming from. I might be getting sick or depressed, or something else entirely. I’m still functioning and actively “doing” life, but it’s like I have an annoying itch in my brain that I can’t scratch. My soul is tired and thoughts are cloudy…
Life seems to be really hard and I don’t think it is going to get easier any time soon.
I don’t know if my perspective is limited or if life truly is hard.
I have some really good things going for me. I try to stay focused on those things and just deal with the other stuff. And, in all honesty, the hard stuff is not bad.
I know I’m being vague… it has been a long time since I’ve wrote a personal post with details.
I need to give myself a break, but how do I do that when I have a full-time job, two young kids, three animals and a house to take care of? I get five days a month without my kids, that’s not a lot of time to have a social life. FIVE days. And two of those are mostly spent catching up on house work so I’m not over doing it during the week.
I’m exhausted from that side of life but if I don’t take the time and energy to do the stuff I enjoy, I start to feel hopeless and downright sad.
It’s a lot.
I’m also working on myself, mentally and physically (could be doing more physically, that’s for sure!).
It’s probably the hardest part. It also takes a long time to see results, which can be discouraging. I really need to do it, though. This is my “future” work. This is the stuff I do today, so that a month (or year) from now, I’m not where I am today. I feel like I’ve been given an opportunity to work on myself in a very deep way and I want to take advantage of it.
Life feels out of balance, however, I have an inner knowing that there is purpose in it all. I have no idea what that purpose is… I trust it, though.