Miss D asked…
How would you handle the following situation:
You’ve been considering a sub for awhile. You enjoy playing with them, you enjoy mentoring them, but the connection isn’t there to bring them on full time. They obviously want more from you.
First, you need to know something about me.
I’m stingy as hell when it comes to playing with people. When I get to the point of wanting to play with someone, I’m already invested. Sure, the level of investment might be low, and I might keep it low on purpose, but it is most definitely there. In other words, I don’t play if they’re not my sub.
If my sub wanted full-time and I wasn’t interested in that, I would figure out what I was willing to do, and tell them. They might not be able to do what you want, so you take the risk of the relationship ending, but that is far better than stringing it along, in my opinion. I like to be straight and feel it is better not to sugarcoat things. I’d avoid building false hope, unless, of course, I truly felt like we could be more in the future.
It is important to be upfront. It will be easier and better for you in the long run, and it allows the sub to keep looking for what they want.