I don’t like to write in exacts because I know how fluid life can be. I know that if I find someone I like – their personality, beliefs, they aren’t stupid, etc. – and they don’t fit into my ideal life scenario, I am likely to adjust. Of course, there are things I will not budge on just like everyone else. I also know that my ideal will probably change and evolve as “real life” happens.
Having said that…
I want a girl and a boy sub. I don’t have a desire to have more subs than that.
I feel like I will thrive most in a triad. It is something I have fantasized about for quite some time– to have a girl in my arms and a boy at my feet. More than that, I want a life with both of them, one that involves love between us.
I want to be in control of both — I fiercely want that power. In the most extreme moments, I want to pick out their clothes and food, direct their entire day, have them cater to my every whim, bound them, tease them, hurt them… devour every bit of them that I can. In more relaxed moments, I want to hold them, watch them interact, enjoy the laughter and company of two people I love.
He would be my live-in puppet, the one that is always there, owned by me in all ways. She would have more freedom.
Ideally, she would have fun teasing him and using him. Ideally, he would take well to that treatment. She would never serve him because I find that deliciously unfair and, ya’ know, principles.
I would be their safe place and someone they can always count on. They would be my most valuable and I would care for them as such.
My thoughts flow with possibilities and it leaves me with a sense of life that reverberates through me like an electric charge. I want it to be more than mere fantasy.
As days move on, the more I feel it, the more I know I can make it happen, I just have to stay strong and keep fighting.
I have life and kids, which will always come first, and I have some odds that are against me, but I can’t stop the hope from being there.