Love makes it hurt in places you didn’t know were there.
But, then to realize those places are there… that they somehow weaved their way in so deep, deeper than what I already knew… it makes me feel like there is more to fight for. And more to hold on to.
The chaos within, that love and pain create, eats away my energy. Pain clouds the path and love clears it, over and over. Love also blinds and pain fuels me. It is all a tangled mess. I take steps when I can and crumble when I can’t.
I am tired.
Nevertheless, I know how to fight for myself.
I am picky about the people I let into my heart and mind because I know how long and how hard I will fight for them. I know what I’m committing to. I have lived and seen enough to know what is worth fighting for.
My love hasn’t lessened.
I still want what I want, ’cause I’m hardheaded like that.
It would hurt me more to walk away.
I still want you.
But, make no mistake, I will not do this again and I expect more.