Month: October 2017

What If…

I’ve been thinking along the same lines as my last post, wondering what if I had someone that was able and willing to give me everything I want… what would I do with that? What would I want? What kind of Domme would I be with someone willing to give me their all and allow me to take the rest?

These questions are not so easy to answer because I’m new and I’m really good at overthinking. I mean, what if this sub has physical limitations. Have they been through any traumatic experiences? Do they eat well and exercise? Are they a woman or a man? Do they like things in their bottom? What kind of goals do they have?… all important things to know! And that’s just the tip of the iceberg.

But, all the details aside, when you get to the bottom of it, I want the freedom to do want I want to do. 

Of course, I want the relationship to be healthy, safe, and consensual. I want them to thrive. I want them to love being mine.   

But, yeah, I want freedom. 

I want them to be open to trying new things. I want them to struggle and suffer. I want to see tears. I want to be mean. I want to be unfair. I want them to endure for me.


Deal Breakers

In order for me to have any kind of relationship a connection must come first. I’m not going to put any effort into someone I don’t get along with and I’m not going to invest in someone I don’t trust. If someone doesn’t meet those prerequisites, there’s no chance for it to go anywhere. 

I love anal play, nipple clamps, and bondage, but they are not deal breakers (though bondage is very close to that edge). The anal hook is still at the top of my favorites (especially because it will never go in my butt again). I love how versatile it is. I love how they look. I love when a submissive is scared of it. I love it, but it doesn’t have to be a thing. 

I love the idea of someone kneeling before me. It symbolizes respect, gratitude, and status. While I appreciate the strength it takes to kneel, I believe one should think it is a privilege to kneel before me (because I will not give that place to just anyone). The act makes me wet just thinking about it, but it’s not a deal breaker. 

I like orgasm control, humiliation, and all kinds of stuff, but I’m willing to work around those things because there’s more than one way to get a D/s feel. 

Nevertheless, there are things I’m not willing to live without. 

I expect obedience. I will always take into account someone’s boundaries and all that other stuff…I wouldn’t ask someone to obey in a way that they could not. 

I expect my sub to be pleasing. I will always take into account someone’s boundaries and all that other stuff…I wouldn’t ask someone to be pleasing in a way that they could not. 

I won’t do D/s without punishment. Period. However, I am flexible on the type of punishments. 

I will not turn off D/s. I am always the Dominant and they are the submissive, it doesn’t stop because we are not in the bedroom. 

This lifestyle is so important to me, I will not take any of it for granted. It gives me life. It is the only way I can enjoy sex. It is how I want to show my love. Anyone who doesn’t take it seriously, will be no sub of mine. 


Yes, I started this thing like six months ago and I’m still not done. Just roll with it. 

30 Days of Dominance

Day 18 – There is a common misconception that the submissive partner in a D/s relationship loses the ability to have and express an opinion. How does communication factor into your Dominance and what expectations do you have in terms of your submissive expressing their desires and needs? Is it limited in time, place or manner? 

I’m going to ignore the statement and move right to the questions…

First off, there is a big difference between “communication” and “effective communication.” The clearer things are, the better a relationship will flow. Talking can suck, it can be hard and uncomfortable, and sometimes feelings will get hurt, but it has to happen from everyone involved in the relationship. 

It seems like there is a lot of emphasis on submissives communicating their needs, wants, ideas, mindset, etc., but I haven’t seen as much on the need for Dominants to communicate. Clear communication from a Dom is so important. So. Fucking. Important. (I’m far from perfect in this area, but working on it.)

I also it feel it is worth mentioning that words don’t mean anything without actions backing them up. 

I expect needs to be voiced as soon as possible. If my sub is feeling off in any way, I need to know. If they are hurt physically, I need to know. If we are knee deep in a bondage scene and they need to pee, I need to know (at the very least I could get a bucket… ‘cause I’m nice like that). Keeping in mind, sometimes a discussion needs to happen for therapeutic reasons, not just to get answers/solutions.

I definitely want to know desires, however there are inappropriate times and inappropriate ways to express them. Common sense can be used for the most part, and correction is important if the sub gets it wrong (ahem, ahem, effective communication/action). 

I like the idea of having a set day/time for talking freely. I really enjoy communication through writings, sharing pictures and such. I think the more ways you communicate the better. 

The Lure of Chastity

Orgasm control and denial are great on their own, but I see more opportunities for enjoyment with chastity.

Since control reaches me on such a deep level, the control factor alone is enough to convince me it is a good idea. If I lock it up and keep the key, even though his penis is attached to his body, it would be mine. He could not, without a doubt, touch his penis in a pleasurable way unless I release him. He could not orgasm without me. Hell, he couldn’t even get fully erect without me. It also takes away his choice (which I happen to know does wonders for the submissive mind), making him more pliable to my will. And if that’s not control, I don’t know what is.

So, if I’m fully in control of what happens or doesn’t happen to his penis, I’m bound to be a pretty important person in his life (this is his “manhood” we’re talking about). If he isn’t pleasing to me, he doesn’t even have a chance at getting what he wants. I think it’s safe to assume this would encourage him to put greater effort into making sure I am happy. This aspect would make me feel special.

I can also use it to be mean. I think it would be great fun to put him in situations that turn him on, just to watch the expression on his face when his penis is straining against the cage. I would definitely enjoy having him serve myself and another female Dominant while in chaste. I could threaten to never let him out because I like him locked up so much…I can always use a dildo when I am in need. Chastity belt = never ending fun.

This little device helps create an overall feeling that is very appealing to me. It helps defines status, adds to the dynamic, gives me control, and turns me on… Yep, chastity is a must.