Month: July 2017

Part of the Core

30 Days of Dominance

Day 17 – What does trust mean to you in the context of Dominance? How do you inspire trust in your submissive?

I think we can all agree that trust is important in any relationship, however, I feel that trust within D/s (and the like) reaches a much deeper level. It is crucial. I can’t think of one area of D/s that trust isn’t a part of, and if it starts to break, the relationship breaks with it.

It is a lot like trusting someone to pack a parachute you will, without a doubt, be using. There are a lot of ways shit can go wrong – emotionally and physically – and it has potential to break you in a scary, bad way.

When I say I want to own someone, in part that means that I want them to trust me enough to pack their parachute.

In the beginning, I expect them to watch me pack it, to ask questions, and talk it out. This is one way to build trust. And, to be honest, it would also help me build trust/confidence in myself… I’m sure as hell not going to do that on my own until I know for sure what the hell I’m doing.

I might have built this up into more than it really needs to be, but that’s how I view the responsibility of owning someone. It is that important to me because I want all of them. I want them to trust me to keep and use their soul.

From my experience as a submissive with my husband, I learned quite a few ways to break trust. The good side to that is that I, as a Dominant, can make sure to never fail my sub in the same ways.

Holding true to your word, being honest, being open (with some exceptions), communicating effectively (this includes listening and talking), showing appreciation, respecting limits, acceptance, and putting in continuous effort to learn are a few ways to deserve a submissive’s trust.

And, trust me, one must be deserving of it to reap all the benefits.