Month: May 2017

Is Sexual Availability a Must?

30 Days of Dominance

Day 13 – Is sexual availability, having your submissive partner/s sexually available to you at any time and in any manner you choose, part of your expectations as a Dominant? Why or why not? Are there acceptable limits to this? If so, what are they?

I admit that my knowledge on other types of dynamics is limited, but some of these questions are baffling. 

Uh, yeah, I expect them to be sexually available.

Why? Because that’s how it works.

Yes, of course there are acceptable limits. It is not like I’d expect them to be available if they were in the hospital or something. I also realize there are times when responsibilities take precedence over my sexual urges — kids and careers are important. 

Reasons such as, I’ve had a long day, there’s a game on TV, my knees hurt, I’ve only been asleep for 3 hours and my body hurts from you using me, I’m hungry, or if I don’t have the coffee made in 10 minutes I will get punished, are not acceptable in my opinion. 

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Financial Submission

30 Days of Dominance 

Day 12 – Do you expect financial submission from submissive partner/s? If yes, how does it manifest itself? If no, is there a particular reason why? Are you familiar with the concept of financial submission? Do you have an opinion about financial submission in general?

I wasn’t sure on the details, however, B just told me a little bit about it.

The thought has never entered my mind…

If I happened to find myself in a posistion to partake in such activities, under the right circumstances, I’d have to say… Sure, why the hell not?!

Service and Servitude

30 Days of Dominance

Day 11 – Do you expect servitude from your submissive/s? How do you define servitude and service? What does it mean to you? If you do not seek or expect servitude from your submissive/s, what is it about the concept of servitude that is not for you? 

Yes, I do expect servitude.

I would define service as an action carried out by the submissive that improves the quaility of my day. As far as I’m concerned,  providing service is a piece of servitude. 

I like the way Merriam-Webster defines servitude…

1: a condition in which one lacks liberty especially to determine one’s course of action or way of life

2: a right by which something (such as a piece of land) owned by one person is subject to a specified use or enjoyment by another

What does servitude mean to me?

In a long term relationship it is a must. The way I envision myself being and what turns me on leads me to believe the underling will not have it easy. It involves trust, and respect, and…it is beautiful.

Enforced Rules

30 Days of Dominance 

Day 9 – Do you set and enforce structure, rules and limits as part of your Dominance? Why or why not? How do you feel about the use of structure, rules and limits as tools used to invoke and maintain submission from your partner/s?

I believed that there was no such thing as a stupid question, until now. 

Seriously. 

Is there such a thing as a Dominant/submissive relationship without at least one of those three things (rules, structure, or limits)? 

I feel if you don’t have rules, structure, or limits, and you are trying to have a relationship that involves Dominance and submission (even one without BDSM), you are not doing what you think you are doing.