30 Days of Dominance – Day 7

Day 7 – Do you inflict discipline or punishment as part of your Dominance? Why or why not? How do you feel about discipline and punishment as tools used to invoke and maintain submission from your partner/s?

Oh, I have loads of thoughts and opinions on punishment, as do many all of us. 🙂

Before I begin I want to make it known that I realize punishment is not for everyone and if it is done it’s a very individual thing. I’m not so bold to say my way is the best way for all (or anyone), nevertheless I am bold enough to speak my opinion.

I have always been in favor of punishment and it is hard for me to picture a D/s dynamic without it. There are just so many benefits!

I want a clear line between D and s, none of that 51/49 ridiculousness, and I feel punishment is a great way to create that line. I am the authority and punishing is an easy (not to mention, fun) way to keep me in that spot. It is also a nice reminder to the submissive where their place is in the relationship.

Side note: I used to hate the saying “being put in my place” until I came across this post

Discipline is one of the best ways (imho) to reset mindsets. The type of submissive that I’m interested in does not need punishment to obey. They want to do what I’ve asked of them, they want to be respectful, they want to please me, and they want to do it if I punish them or not. So, why would I need to punish them? Well, you see, there’s this bitch called Life, and she likes to get in the way of fun. We have families, jobs, commutes, and countless other things and people that can put us in a less than desirable mood. As a submissive this can be quite painful because it directs their mind off of and away from what they want. When this happens and the sub acts out in a way that they feel guilty for and I’m not pleased with, inflicting some kind of punishment removes the submissive’s guilt, refocuses their mind back where it belongs (towards me), and it allows me to let go of the infraction as well. I also believe it would be a great tool to reset my mind. When I’ve had a long, stressful day with the kids I think punishing my sub would be a very effective reminder that it’s good to be me. 

Discipline is also a means to improve the relationship. Relationships need continuous care. I’m going to repeat that one more time…

Relationships need CONTINUOUS care.

Again, the bitch, Life, can get in the way of caring for one’s relationship, but if you let it go on for long, things tend to fall apart. One way to tend a relationship is to improve it, and since there is no flawless relationship, we can always improve. By correcting and punishing my sub I’m saying, “I care about us, I want us to be our best, and I take it very seriously.” Take it a step further and I’m also telling my sub, “I see what’s inside of you. I see that you are capable of more. You are an amazing individual and I want that to show. I support you. I am involved in you and us.”

Punishment is a very intimate act that the benefits far exceed the effort. And, since you really don’t have to put a lot of effort into it for it to be effective, why not have fun with it?! 🙂

6 comments

  1. Thank you for sharing, Ms Dixie.

    Your views on punishment are very similar to mine. I think when a lot of people take a philosophic stance against punishment it is because they view punishment as unpleasant and tedious. e.g. when you ground a child, you are actually grounding yourself to monitor and police that child.

    There also seems to be a belief that wish punishment dynamics that every masochistic type sub will immediately begin rule-breaking in order to instigate play. This is only possible under a very narrow idea of what punishment is. Anything can be made unpleasant. Creativity can solve any problem.

    Scolding, intimacy, and aftercare make punishment a truly bonding moment if performed with good intentions in mind.

    While I’m not a masochist, I do prefer the idea of serving a disciplinarian as they tend to include the mental side of D/s with their choice of dynamics. Keeping a sub in a good mental state over the long-run is a skill.

    Take care.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. You’ve brought up some good points.

      My husband, as a Dom, was one of those that felt that punishment shouldn’t be needed. Sometimes he would punish and often he wouldn’t. He would also tell me he was going to and wouldn’t follow through. Needless to say, I learned a lot about what not to do and why I shouldn’t do those things.

      Exactly. Punishment doesn’t have to be physically painful. I believe it just needs to be something the sub does not like or something they like, done in a way they do not like.

      Glad I’m not the only one that has this sort of view on punishments. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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